


Negotiating Fate

by RoseGoldAmpersand



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Captain America: The First Avenger, Fate & Destiny, First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Recovery Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Feels, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 09:18:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18617695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseGoldAmpersand/pseuds/RoseGoldAmpersand
Summary: When returning the Stones to their rightful places the universe offered Steve a chance to go back to memories long past. This time he could put Bucky onto a new path: one that didn't lead him to becoming the Winter Soldier.(Post-Endgame Time Travel Fix-it)





	Negotiating Fate

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy reading! Your comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated 

Steve’s first jump was to 2014.

Bruce had explained before he left that hopping backwards in stages would be more forgiving when Steve was attempting to travel so far through the quantum realm. Steve didn't understand it - except, no, that was untrue.

He understood it just fine, but it didn't mean he was able to accept it. They had all jumped through the realm and they had all succeeded in reaching their destination, but his mind boggled by the sheer power behind bending physics to travel through time. He volunteered to return the Stones, nevertheless.

Morag was his first location. Once he reached the temple of the Power Stone all he needed to do was lie in wait for Nebula and Rhodey to get the Stone. He winced when the half alien, half android woman writhed in pain on the ground before becoming immobile. He began to question if something had gone wrong, if he needed to step in, but he held his ground. Gritting his teeth together, Steve reminded himself that what was happening was necessary. Anything he saw in the past had to happen so he could take back the Stones.

Once Nebula had departed the temple Steve replaced her presence and stepped into the echoing chamber. The glowing bars of light upon the plinth accepted the Stone readily, as if greed incited it to pull the Power Stone from his grasp.

_One down_.

Steve heard crunching among the dust and rubble behind him beyond the chamber, followed by a long and pained masculine groan as he double-tapped his Pym-Stark bracer. Another shot of Pym particles sent him back into the quantum realm to his next position. 

Vormir was as stunning as it was nightmarish. Steve watched from afar as Clint rose to a seated position surrounded by a crystal clear stagnant pool that reflected the twisted sky above them. Steve shared the moment of grief and loss in silence with his teammate. He swallowed hard, regretful that he couldn't reach out and reassure the other man it would all be okay.

Clint disappeared with the Soul Stone carrying a face of such devastation and anguish that Steve felt guilty for having witnessed it.

The mountain called to him when he cast his sight towards it and he climbed until he was met with the precipice that he knew loomed over Nat below.

He did not look.

A blinding beam of light from above met his outstretched hand and surrounded him in his entirety to consume the Soul Stone. It left him with a lingering glacial feeling that compelled him to shake his empty hand to rid himself of the disturbing sensation.

“Steven-” An unearthly disjointed voice greeted, but Steve had already began to shrink and the glittering golden skies of Asgard launched him into 2013.

The whole city of Asgard seemed to beam down upon him with the warmth of a smiling sun. After the eclipsed darkness and deathly quiet of Vormir it was a welcome change to see bustling people going about their business in the streets of Asgard.

Finding Jane required a small amount of infiltration into the palace through a conveniently placed window. Steve begged a silent apology as he restored the Aether of the Reality Stone to her with the knowledge of how much pain it caused heavy on his mind. The telltale sound of a fight followed him as he exited the golden halls of palace and into grime of 2012 New York.

Returning the Mind Stone to the false SHIELD agents left a sour taste in Steve's mouth. He waited for his second past self to meet back with Stark and Lang outdoors and then made his move. He tracked the agents to a typical black van and handed over the case containing the Stone. They accepted it with only a few disturbed looks - obviously still trying to work out how Captain America became a secret Hydra agent - and Steve counted himself lucky. He left for the Sanctum quickly lest any questions were asked.

The rooftop garden of the Sanctum was so benign compared to the far and distant places Steve had travelled that he couldn’t help but pause and take a breath to collect himself.

They really had done it; they really had beaten Thanos. Sam was back, the kid was back... Bucky was back.

Steve swallowed around a cold lump in his throat, mouth dry and eyes prickling with moisture as the stress and the regret of the past five years - hell, the past eighty years - caught up to him.

In the years after Thanos had beaten them Steve hadn’t allowed himself to grieve, to let go - how could he? He always held out hope that they would find a way to bring them all back. It shocked him to discover that success carried with it a bittersweet note.

Now, in the aftermath of it all, Captain America was left stranded without purpose. Once he had restored the last Stone - the final nail in Thanos' coffin -  what was left for him? Who was he, without a Nazi leader to fight or a genocidal egotist to stop.

Would this new world need him?

He told himself that the clear answer was yes; there was always something more to fight for. There would always be people who abuse power and there would always be injustices that needed to be fixed.

But did he want to be the one to fix them?

Steve stumbled over that guilty thought, unsure what to feel.

He deserved a fair shot at a normal life just like everybody else, but was that what he wanted? Could he allow himself that mercy, or would it pale beside the fight for survival that his life had been while leading up to this point? 

“Introspection suits you,” said a gentle voice behind him, distracting him from the melancholy of his thoughts. 

Steve glanced up, squinting into the sun to meet the gaze of the Ancient One; a slight figure with kind eyes that were heavy with wisdom.

He opened his mouth to explain himself when they continued. “It does not do well to let your mind consume you. You are the master of your own thoughts: listen to them, but do not let them run off without you.”

“How-” Steve began before biting his cheek to stop himself. He felt like a child beside this person who knew so much, who had lived so long. _How can I move on?_ He wanted to ask. Yet countless people had asked those exact words of him in the past five years and he answered the same way every time:

_With an open heart._  

“I’d advise against any drastic means while you are in the past,” they replied and offered him a soft, knowing smirk. Steve didn't fully grasp what they were trying to imply and practised patience, waiting for some form of explanation. They flicked away a long billowing sleeve to reveal a strong but slender hand, open towards him in request. “You’re closing the gaps that were left when you removed the Stones. Do not stray and cause further holes to follow.”

The Time Stone briefly glowed green against the pale skin in their open palm, then settled into the Eye where it belonged around their neck. The Eye closed with a sleek sound of soft metal on metal.

Steve steadied his footing as his mental tally measured up:

_One to go._

“How do I know that this doesn’t upset the balance of things?” He asked, nodding to the Eye and the Ancient One themself. “You know what happens - doesn’t that change all of this - the future?”

“Yes, and no.” They replied, diplomatic in a way that rankled Steve and reassured him at once. “I told Doctor Banner that removing the Stones would cause disruptive timelines to open up - the likes of which would conflict the present one, such is why you are returning each one to their rightful place. With the Stones paths restored the present time-stream can continue uninterrupted, with or without my knowledge of the future... I am insignificant compared to the weight of the Stones. They bind time in a linear fashion, everything else is… Marginally flexible.”

_Flexible_.

The word rang out through Steve’s mind, loud and coursing through him as a dawning realisation dominated the very forefront of his brain.

_Bucky never came in contact with any of the Stones._

It was not Bucky that caused the Stones to end up in Lehigh, New York, Vormir, Morag, or anywhere else for that matter. Steve would need to find the right time, the right place, but for all intents and purposes Bucky's place within the time-stream could be flexible. Steve shifted in his spot, mind whirring and he tried to grasp for more hope. For one last injustice to fix.

“I can-”

“Move on with an open heart, Captain, yes.” They said, voice neutral. They pressed their clasped hands to the small of their back and looked out towards the skyline of New York. Their features were serene and Steve took that as his queue to leave.

“Thank you,” He said, voice rushed and electrified as finished the change over to a fresh Pym particle. Hope sang in his veins.

“No, Captain. Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

The 70's were familiar in a way that felt like a distant dream to Steve. Surrounded by the U.S. troops running drills took him back to a lifetime ago, while the hope and changing pace of technology reminded him of his future. It was a mixture of two lives he had stepped in and made home.

The base was teeming with people that provided ample cover and opportunity to sneak closer to the bunker he needed. In the distance he spotted himself and Tony - the latter carrying the briefcase which held the next Stone. Steve forced himself to look away.

Returning the Tesseract was laughably easy; Stark had literally left the doors of the vault wide open. There was no wonder how it fell so easily into the wrong hands; it seemed this Stone invited trouble.

Steve carefully placed the glowing blue cube that held the Space Stone within the confines of vault. He lingered for a moment, fingers skimming across the slight iridescent glassy planes of the Tesseract. He straightened up to full height and nodded to himself with firm satisfaction.

It was done.

All six Stones were back to their rightful places and would be picked up and danced around the universe in the way they were supposed to once more.

What the Ancient One had said lingered with him still. If Bucky's place in the time-stream could be flexible, then didn't Steve have the duty to try to change what had already happened? 

Could he do it - could he go back and stop Bucky from becoming the Winter Soldier? He had two Pym particles left: one to get back to Banner, Sam and Bucky in the future; and a spare in case shit hit the fan again.  

It was risky, but the Ancient One would have warned him away from temptation if they were really that wise and omniscient. If Steve wanted permission, that was clearly it.

Was it right to do it, even if that meant Bucky was never frozen and never made it to the future? Never killed Stark? On the surface that surely was only a good thing, but if it affected Tony and his involvement with the Stones...

Somebody else would take Bucky's place, Steve reasoned. If Hydra wanted Stark dead they would send an assassin whether it was Bucky or any other agent that knew how to make a murder look like a car crash.

Steve had the means and the power to make things right.

It was the right thing to do. 

With his face set with determination Steve punched in the coordinates, swapped out his second last Pym canister, and went back into the quantum realm.

Back to 1945.

 

* * *

 

Even without careening across the landscape on a high-speed Tesseract-powered train, Steve did not have the time or patience to appreciate the natural beauty of the Austrian Alps.

For now, he traced the line of the tracks and watched as an explosion rocked the train in the distance. Barely moments later a second explosion rang out and ripped through the side of the carriage, tossing a figure out with it. It was time. Chest tight, Steve stood from his crouched position and began to run towards the tracks when he saw his younger self inside the train. He watched Bucky cling to the wreckage of the speeding train and himself as he reached desperately for his friend.

Steve begged the universe for things to be different this time, despite knowing the impossibility of such a wish. Just a little more, a little further, and he would be holding Bucky and could pull him back onto the train.

He watched Bucky plummet from his grasp for a second time and began to run towards his fallen friend.

Steve knew the surrounding country well at the time of the mission, but he had not been so well-versed in the intricacies of the terrain. It took some searching, as the speed of the train and curve of the track had cast Bucky aside into the valley below the tracks. Steve finally found his lifeless figure in a shallow pool of blood and he ran to his side with his heart in his throat.

"Bucky!" He called, hands hovering over the other man. Bucky was knocked unconscious - either due to the fall or the impact to the snowy ground - and the cold prevented his severed arm from bleeding so heavily. The serum put a stop to the exposed tissue decaying to frostbite, Steve could see now. 

Steve had to move fast. While the serum had allowed Bucky to survive the fall it was only a matter of time before the Soviet Union would arrive to take him within their Hydra ranks.

"It's alright. I've got you. I'm here." Steve said, for his own benefit as well as Bucky's.

Steve tapped at his wrist armour and out shot a plume of thick gas which he directed towards Bucky's wounds to stop further trauma from settling in. The nano-tech would cauterise and seal a wound, Tony had explained in his briefing before the team set off into the past. It would fight infection and prevent Bucky's severed arm from bleeding out as Steve dragged him from the open, towards the cover of the landscape around them.

If Steve had been thinking logistically he would have thought to bring supplies with him. As it stood, they were without warmth, food and water - although the snow would do for now. He reassured himself with the knowledge that Bucky had survived a lot worse after his fall from the train in his time. Long solitary missions all over the world for months, welcomed back with torture and erased memories, over and over. It pained Steve to think about, but it was a testament to how strong Bucky was. 

In the meantime, Steve scouted the area for better shelter and in his search he discovered a North-facing cave that was large enough for them both to remain secluded while Bucky recovered from the shock of his fall.

He carried Bucky there in his arms, watching out for the cloud of Bucky's steady breathing in the bitter air as he trudged up the icy mountainside. Steve settled him against the backmost wall of the cave and allowed himself to gaze upon the youthfulness of his friend's features. Gone were the harsh lines of his future as a weapon, replaced instead by features familiar with practising the joy of laughter.

Blood marred Bucky's skin and Steve gently reached out with the side of his thumb to the other man's cheek, tender and reverent. It was soft under his touch, contrasted by the prickle of stubble borne of neglect during the intensive mission to capture Zola. Long moments passed as Steve revelled in the strength and uncanny innocence of his friend from his past.

"Steve?" Bucky asked. He blinked slowly into the bright pain of consciousness before his body was struck with clarity and he cried out, twisting and arching in agony. His tormented shout was curtailed when a wave of coughing consumed him and blood spluttered from his lips to the floor of the cave.

"Oh god." Steve murmured his quiet prayer and sat back to give the man room, trying his best to soothe him without smothering. The coughing subsided after a few minutes that didn't seem as if they would ever end. The coughs made way for strained breaths that were raspy and plentiful. "Rest, Buck. You've been injured... The serum Zola gave you is helping, but we should be cautious."

Without the energy to fight him Bucky lay with his back flat against the floor, eyes shut as he steadied his breathing with carefully controlled lungfuls of frigid air. Steve thought Bucky looked as though he wanted to speak again, but exhaustion overcame him and the tension in his body slumped as he dropped back into unconsciousness.

_Good_ , Steve thought, though the worry in his gut continued to grow. He knew first hand the best way to recover from an injury was rest, even if he never took that advice to heart himself. Still, they would have to be on the move again soon to somewhere with supplies and better shelter from the elements. For the time being, Steve sat in the opening of their cave and shielded the other man from the icy winds blowing past. He stayed at his post for hours until he was numb all over and spent this time thinking of strategy.

First he needed to be sure that Hydra were not just around the corner ready to drag Bucky to their base before they moved from their safe space. That might require him to scout out on his own for a short time, which wasn't really something he wanted to do. Secondly, he needed to be sure that Bucky could withstand the next trek. He recalled a desolate village nearby, perhaps five miles away, which had been abandoned at the start of the Nazi reign and was inconsequential in the eyes of Hydra. They would be safe there, and from there they could get help. So many injured soldiers came through these parts; what was one more to a nurse trying their best to serve hundreds.

The sun rose outside of the cave proclaiming to the pair that they had been in hiding for at least twelve hours. Steve did not believe that Bucky had been asleep the whole time, but through his span of waiting Bucky had hardly moved. The new day's light cast a welcome warmth across Steve's form and into the cave, shadowing over the resting man beside him.

"You're not real."

Bucky's voice was so coarse that Steve almost mistook it for the wind crashing across the opening of the cave. He turned his head to meet Bucky's gaze and ignored the ache in his chest that settled in deep. "You wouldn't sit still for more than five minutes without fidgeting or picking a fight with the damn floor. But you're here, so maybe I'm still dreamin'."

In that moment Steve knew he could not - would not - wait any longer. He faced Bucky fully and raised his chin, unabashed as he laid his heart out between them.

"Bucky, my whole life I have loved you. The universe has given me a chance to right the wrongs that have crossed your path, so I'm here where I belong by your side taking a chance. Bucky, I-" He hesitated, but resolved to continue; he had committed when he took Bucky from the valley and now he had nothing left to lose. “I’ve come back from the future -  a future where a lot of bad things have happened to you.” 

“Okay,” Bucky wheezed and shut his eyes to control the pain coursing through his body as he huffed out laughter. “ _That_ sounds like you. So what; so they invent time travel in ten years and you decide to hop in and be first volunteer, right? Okay. That I get. What did they send Captain America to do, huh? - kill Hitler?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Steve replied. He wished it did; he wished he could write all the wrongs, save everybody that hadn’t made it through the battle with Thanos. He moved closer as he spoke again so that Bucky wouldn’t have to strain to see him, to read the honesty in his words. “A lot has happened, Buck. To the both of us. To the world. I’m only here to stop what happened to you.”

“How do y’know if you’ve done it?” Bucky asked through gritted teeth and groaned in pain as he shifted on his one arm to a sitting position against the wall. He was sweating and shaking by the time he slumped against the rough stone, as pale as a sheet and looking with cloudy eyes to the place where his arm should have been.

“You were supposed to be somewhere else and I stepped in and moved you. After you fall from the train they declare you MIA and that's when things start to go south. I had to come now, otherwise the rest of my history would buckle. If I known you were alive…” Steve trailed off, swallowing past the pain of Bucky’s seventy years of loneliness to continue speaking. “I wouldn’t have stopped looking for you. But the past version of myself needs to keep thinking you're dead for this to work. If I stay-”

"You can’t stay.” Bucky interrupted, taking on a harsh tone that he always used when Steve looked as thought he might cause himself an asthma attack. It did it's job and Steve held his tongue. “Whatever has happened in the future to get you sent back here... If going back is an option they will be expecting you back. They still need you. I’ll need you. Don’t be an idiot and toss away the celebration and happiness you deserve just so you can live through this fucking war again. You said it yourself; you’re only here to change me, not anythin’ else. I don't know what happens and I'm not gonna ask, but I know you. I know if you stay you won’t sit by when you know you can help someone. Haven’t you had enough of fighting this fight, Stevie? Don’t you want to go home?”

Bucky was right.

Sam and Bruce were still waiting for him. The world - displaced and in turmoil after the scarred years of Thanos' terror - was still waiting for him to be their beacon of hope. The world still needed Captain America.

Except now he had changed Bucky's flow of history in the time-stream… He didn't like the sound of where that left them.

"You can’t-... You won’t see me again after this, Buck. The version of me you know on the train is falsely declared KIA before the year is out. I fall into ice and thanks to the serum I wake up in 2011. That _needs_ to happen.” He stressed and paused for a moment so Bucky could process. Bucky’s eyes travelled over his white and red Stark suit. They lingered on his face next, reading the years of difference between the Steve Rogers he knew and this one before him. “But you can live a good life today, Buck. The life the universe owes you. Win the war, settle with a dame, like you always said.”

His chest ached at the suggestion of Bucky building a life with someone else, but knowing the love of his life was safe and happy was a far sight better than leaving Bucky to suffer a lifetime at the hands of Hydra.

“If you really believe that’s what I want then you’re more of a punk than I thought you were,” Bucky said, the condescending note in his voice was hollow but the clarity in his eyes outweighed the insult as he reached for him.

Steve waited, deathly still with his heart pounding in his eardrums as Bucky found purchase and grasped at his shoulder. The hand moved up, sweeping rough dirt and dried blood along the side of Steve’s throat before settling against the angle of his jaw.

“It’s always been you, Steve.” Bucky said wholeheartedly and, breathless from the effort, closed the distance between them.

Careful of Bucky’s injuries, Steve kissed him back like he was drowning, had been drowning for the last hundred years. A lifetime of pent up longing and unspoken love spilled over in the heart-stopping moment of their kiss. Every moment of love not shared carried their own weight as Steve pressed his lips to Bucky's - every time Bucky patched up his injuries so his ma didn’t get upset; each time he bought him some new pencils and never asked for thanks; the time Steve found him in the midst of a war, thinking he was lost for good. And every time since they when found each other again and again, orbiting one another, belonging to one another. At the time Steve had not known how to translate his boundless devotion to words, to actions. And now every moment of love and wanting carried in secret over the years exploded between them with a tidal force.

“I love you,” Steve rushed out in the middle of the kiss, as if it wasn’t clear already. He needed Bucky to know. He cupped Bucky’s cheeks between both palms and held him, something precious, not wanting to ever let go again. A firm hand on the nape of his neck sent tingles down his spine and he pulled back to meet Bucky’s gaze.

“We should’a done that a long time ago,” Bucky said with a remorseful smile and touched his forehead to Steve's. He looked up again after a moment to gently run his thumb over Steve's now bruised lower lip. “Don’t settle for me and this war when you could be changing the future, Steve, please. Between now and your time, what happened already happened... There’s nothing for you here.”

“But you’re here,” Steve whispered, voice cracking under the weight of the truth. He could feel his lip trembling against Bucky's thumb. The Ancient One said that which did not involve the Stones could be changed, but if he stayed and changed the course of the war - because Bucky was right; how could he resist? - who knew what effect that would have on the Space Stone, or the rest of the Stones?

And if Bucky was never to be found by Hydra and did not fall into the Winter Soldier program there was no guarantee that he would live to the early 21st century. Since waking from the ice Steve had aged, the serum did not stop that fact of life.

Would Steve have to bury him, like Peggy?

Would he already be too late? 

“We’ve been dealt shitty hands, Stevie.” Bucky murmured, taking one of Steve’s with his own to draw him away from his racing thoughts and back to the present. “But I don’t regret a second of it. I’d do it all again if it lead me right back here with you.”

Steve bit his lip and squeezed Bucky's hand tight, trying to force down the tears that threatened him. In his heart he knew he wouldn't do anything differently either. Bucky had a second chance at life and that was all that mattered.

“You’re more of a sap than I remember,” Steve replied with a wet chuckle and ignored the tear that escaped to carve a path down his cheek. Bucky huffed a pained laugh and wiped the dampness from Steve's skin like he used to at his bedside when his was sick.

He leaned in close and kissed Bucky again, slower now but just as deep, just as sincere. His heart thudded as it broke - as they broke the kiss. “You’ll be happy, won’t you? Promise me you’ll be happy.” He implored, voice thick with emotion. If he knew Bucky would live the life of happiness he deserved then Steve could let go of his hand without compunction.

“I’ll do my best, pal.” Bucky replied and nodded with a wink that Steve couldn't help but feel calmed by. It eased some of his tension, but did nothing to warm the cold that seem to stay fixed in his soul.

“Forgive yourself,” Bucky said, cutting through his thoughts once more. “Forgive yourself for not always winning the fight. If you’ve done what you set out to do… You can rest easy knowing you’ve set things right. Move on with an open heart to the new future, Steve. It’s a leap of faith, just like everything else you do. Remember that.”

“I’ll try,” Steve muttered and tightened his hand around Bucky’s with a grip that would bruise anybody else. His next words he spoke quickly, searching for excuses. “I can stay longer; I don’t need to leave right now. We should get you somewhere warm-”

“I’ll be alright,” Bucky dismissed firmly. He sent Steve a knowing look. “I’m getting the feeling that I’m tougher than I look now - and doesn’t that sound familiar? I’ll find my way home. I'll do better this time pal, I promise.”

“I’ll miss you.” Steve's voice wavered as he took in his final look of his best friend. Battered and torn, but smiling with a light in his eyes that was brighter and warmer than all of Asgard. Bucky was right; he had to go because the time-stream depended on it, but he hadn't failed him. Bucky would be spared.

The final canister of Pym particles was ready all too soon and Steve looked up to find Bucky watching him with a smile.

“I’m so proud of you, Stevie. You’re the best of us all.”

“Buck-” Steve choked and bit his lower lip hard as another wave of bittersweet tears threatened to floor him. He breathed harshly and held Bucky's stare. “I’ll find you, wherever you are. I’ll find you to say goodbye properly.”

“Okay,” he replied gently. Bucky’s voice was quiet when he spoke and his eyes shone with unshed tears. He held his out his hand again for Steve to take once more and Steve couldn't help but note that even now Bucky was trying to stay strong for him. “I’ll see you then, buddy.”

“I love you,” Steve repeated, not knowing if he would ever have to opportunity to say those words again.

_I love you._

As the world distorted and faded around him Steve wished for a lifetime with Bucky, one where he knew with certainty he could say those words to him everyday without fear of ever losing him again.  

Bucky's words of love followed him into the quantum realm, echoing through the sea of nothing and everything. They grew louder and louder until Steve thought he might burst as the roar and rushing noise shook him to his core and threatened to consume him and rip him apart.

 

* * *

 

_"… Three… two… one."_

Steve slumped heavily to the floor of the Stark time machine, head bowed low over one knee as the tremors continued to rack through him. His lungs felt tight like they did before the serum and the pounding in his chest drowned out the rushing footfalls of Sam and Bruce. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe, and everything ached from the blistering touch of cold.

“Cap!” They called and two pairs of hands clasped him around his shoulders, heaving him upright as he blinked blearily into the future. "What happened? What is it?"

He fell against them, shuddering.

“Took your sweet time, didn’t you?”

That voice.

Steve's head snapped up, the world spinning and tilting on its axis at the sound of that impossible voice. 

There, where he left him, Bucky stood smiling among the trees looking very much alive.

“Bucky!” Steve cried, shock giving him the strength to rush forwards past the bewildered pair holding him upright. He almost barrelled the other man over with the strength of his embrace and Steve wrapped his trembling arms fully around Bucky's broad shoulders with a vice-like grip. Two hands settled at the small of Steve's back and he pulled away, but only just. “How? How are you still here - still like this?”

Bucky’s smile dimmed a touch and he gripped Steve by the elbows, grounding him and forcing him to keep his gaze as he spoke.

"They found me after you left, searching for supplies the boys left behind before we jumped to the train. They only stumbled across me because you put me on higher ground in their path-" he continued louder and with more conviction when Steve grew alarmed and tried to interrupt. "You were always going to put me in their path. It was supposed to happen."

Steve's mind reeled in shock. He felt as though he had been punched in the gut.

_He_ set Bucky on the path towards becoming the Winter Soldier.

He had abandoned him. He had failed him.

But what if he hadn't gone back - would Bucky have lived or frozen solid at the pit of the Alps? "There must be a way - a way we can go back and change something, stop the men-" He said, grasping at Bucky desperately.

“Hey hey hey! No - no more time travel!” Bruce’s voice was firm and did not welcome an argument. “We’ve done our part with the Stones, the circuit has been complete. Get that? We’re not doing this again unless you want to risk Thanos coming back!”

"Steve," Bucky said calmly and drew his attention back. He squeezed his hands around Steve's arms tighter. One metal and one flesh. "It's done. You can’t go back. The Stones always needed to go back and you were always going to find me. It was always going to happen. It _needed_ to happen."

Steve slumped his weight as the fight left him and he had to admit defeat to the bitter reality. He couldn't save Bucky, despite how he had tried. It was't possible: the time-stream, the Stones, fate or destiny - whatever it was, it couldn't be changed.

"Since when did you get so wise?" He asked, allowing a small smile to melt the grief across his face.

He was a long way away from forgiving himself just yet, but Bucky was alive and Steve was not going to lose him again. Despite the awful circumstance, they were lucky. Steve felt so, _so_ lucky he could barely stand. Somehow, after all that had happened, they could be grateful that they had found each other again.

"I was always the wise one, thank you, Mr-' _Tommy's lookin' at me funny, hold my book'_ ," Bucky replied wittily and thumped his fist against Steve's broad chest. Steve didn't notice; he was too busy admiring Bucky's dimples wreathed with the soft golden brown hairs of his beard and the way the light of the blue sky reflected in his pupils. "You were always too busy saving America’s ass to see it."

_God, Bucky…_

After the Accords - after Bucky went into the ice and came back out again Steve hadn't much opportunity to see him alone. Hearing Bucky tease and jibe like the old days was almost more than Steve could take. They were different men, strangers of their past selves that had grown so close in their teens, but together they would always make sense. There would be rough patches, nightmares and fights, but at the end of the line they had one another.

Bucky's warmth welcomed him home as he leaned forwards, as they both leaned into each other. It had been mere moments ago for Steve since they were last so close, but those kisses had been desperate goodbyes. This would be the start of-

“Alright guys, let pack this up and get back to the base.” Sam interrupted, making Steve flush. He had completely forgotten where they were. He cleared his throat and stepped away from Bucky, smiling a little as the other man winked. Sam was right. They shouldn't have an audience when they were reuniting after so long.

Bucky gave a pat to Steve's back firmly with his metal hand when he stepped away and nudged him towards Banner, a lingering touched masked by brotherly camaraderie. As they carried the equipment back to the new Avengers compound Steve wondered how many of their brotherly hugs and scraps over the years had been excuses for Bucky to touch him. He could admit to himself that he was not totally devoid of guilt; many tussles started by him over the years had the soul purpose to be closer to Bucky's healing touch.

"So you knew, this whole time?" He asked much later when they were finally alone. He lounged against the counter of the kitchen housed in the private quarters of the facility while Bucky sat at the table and picked at his sandwich, fiddling with the crusts. “You woke up from the ice and knew I loved you… Knew I was going to be there in your future.”

Bucky put down the crust he had been playing with and sat back in his chair, arms crossed loosely over his chest. “When I woke from the ice I knew nothin’, Steve. I didn’t know myself until I saw you again that day and you called me Bucky." He swallowed, lost in the memory of the day when he first saw Steve again, but didn't truly know him.

"I think I knew in the back of my mind somewhere that there was someone important waiting for me. It kept me going, kept me alive. I didn't know it, but I think I was always looking for you until I found you. Bits and pieces started to make sense then, but I only figured out that the cave wasn’t a fever dream once Shuri had taken the Hydra codes outta my head. I started remembering a lot after that.” He shared a smile with Steve, open and honest without by the wry sarcasm that usually followed. This Bucky was softer, Steve observed. Not weaker, definitely not, but kinder to himself than he had ever been. “Remind me to tell you about it sometime.”

“Yes, I’d like that.” Steve encouraged, because he had been afraid before. Afraid that Bucky would not remember the good old days and they would never be able to reconnect. Afraid of the alternative, too, where Bucky would remember too many nightmares and escape to a shell of his former self. This Bucky glowed golden from the heat of the African sun and his cheeks curved slightly from a diet that didn’t harbour malnutrition. Steve was overcome with love for him.

“And then all this happened,” Bucky continued, snapping Steve out of his staring while he gestured to the ceiling above them and the universe beyond. “I didn’t exactly have the time. But still I should'a said, even if it was in the middle of the fight. _I remember now, I love you too_ , that’s all - just, just in case, you know?”

Steve moved from the counter to rest his behind on the table beside Bucky. His hand fell to the other man’s forearm, needing the contact as much as wanting to provide comfort. “It’s alright that you didn’t, Buck. I’ve had enough _‘what if’s_ and _‘should have’s_ for a lifetime or two. We’ve both survived to get to this point... We shouldn’t dwell on the past when we can look to the future.”

Bucky nodded and was silent for a beat before he spoke again.

“Yeah, about that…” He said, eyes shifting away from Steve’s in a way that reminded him of times when Bucky had just set them up on a double date with a pair of girls way out of Steve’s league. Again.

Steve waited for him to continue and when he didn't he chuckled kindly. “What? You’re not telling me you’re from the future too now, Buck, are ya?” He quietened when he noticed the tightness of his friend’s shoulders. “You can tell me anything. Whatever it is, after all we’ve been through, I am the last person in the world who would ever reject you or what you have to say.”

Bucky nodded again, an imperceptible jerk of his head this time and he let out a short sharp breath. "I don't want to fight anymore, Steve. Not like this," he said, raising the metal arm that had been gifted to him by the Wakandans. "I don't remember everything, but I remember enough to know I can't go back to the way things were. I can't fight by your side anymore, pal."

Steve took a moment to swallow that information. He made certain his voice was patient and neutral when he spoke again. "What does that mean?" He probed, seeking answers before he could speculate and allow his thoughts to forge a path without him.

"My home is with you, don't get that twisted, but my life isn't here." Bucky elaborated, gesturing again to the compound's walls around them. "My bed is in Wakanda and at the end of each day that's where I want to fall asleep and that's where I want to wake up in the morning. The temple, the market, the farms... It's enough for me."

_But will it be enough for you?_ Steve heard the unspoken in the space between them.

"I-" He swallowed, looking away from Bucky's guarded expression. 

His need for a cause to fight for and his need to chase after Bucky always seemed to cause conflict in the past. When he was young he had dreamt of marching into battle, shoulder touching alongside Bucky's. He had never imagined what would happen if they won. Perhaps his two needs did not have to work hand in hand and could coexist side by side instead. Steve wasn't certain, didn't _know_ whether it would work, but at least he'd still have Bucky.

"We'll make it work," Steve said, voice sure and determined when he met Bucky's eyes again. He watched as the firm line of the other man's mouth relaxed from the frown that had been forming. He gently coaxed Bucky to turn just-so, with a hand to his jaw while the other steadied his own weight on the back of Bucky's chair. He brought him close and kissed him ardently. Once more, time seemed to still as Bucky slowly returned the kiss, melting against Steve's lips and sharing this portion of himself without compromise.

"We'll work it out together, Buck." Steve promised as he pulled away, cheeks warm. A thrill of pleasant satisfaction ran along his spine when he noticed that not only had Bucky's expression relaxed, but his eyes had taken on a note of desire. Directed at him by Bucky... That was unfamiliar territory for Steve, but definitely not unwelcome. He chuckled under the attention and kissed Bucky again, unable to help himself now that he'd had a taste.

"I just hope the Wakandans will have me," he joked after a while of savouring Bucky's presence, just to see his friend smile again. He would not rest until a smile was an easy expression again on a face that had seen so many years of brutality.

"I think you will be fine, Captain." Bucky drawled with a roll of his eyes. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before he sat up straighter, capturing Steve's interest. Steve gave it willingly. "Hey…" He began, tone inciting curiosity and intrigue. "Did you know we went to the moon?"

His words were so shockingly earnest Steve couldn't help but laugh. He laughed until Bucky punched him, crinkles around his brown eyes forming joy that had been underutilised in the last few years.

They still had so much to catch up on - about the world and with each other.

Steve couldn't wait to get started.

 

* * *

 

_~Sometime later~_

 

The warmth of the Wakandan air was welcome after the icy air-con of the jet. The cool blast had kept him awake and alert after more than forty eight hours of no sleep, but it didn't mean Steve actually enjoyed the practicality of it.

A pleasantly hot breeze warmed him from the outside in as he strolled out of the city into the pastures and fields of longer grass. He absently let his fingers trail along the tips of the blades as he walked. The gentle clunk of wooden wind-chimes grew louder the further he went and when he was within spitting distance he quickened his pace to a jog.

The door to his home creaked as he pushed it open and Steve surveyed the lived in mess of the nest they'd been gifted. Beside the door were vegetables, freshly picked and piled high ready to go to market. His paints were sprawled across the dining table where he had left them days ago and he reminded himself to finish his abandoned project later on. Through to the kitchen he could smell something comforting stewing and his stomach growled as he wandered towards the source. 

He stood in front of the stove and heavy footfalls followed close behind him, soon after he was greeted by a strong chest pressed against his back. An arm slipped around his waist and pulled him snugly into another man's form.

"How was it?" Bucky asked, lips warm where they pressed against the back of Steve's neck.

"Good: Sam and the team handled the infiltration great and Parker is really coming along. It was paperwork for me mostly," He said, shrugging the shoulder that Bucky wasn't leaning against.

Bucky snorted, "Liar." He released Steve's waist, allowing him to turn so they could meet each other's gaze. "So?"

Steve quirked an eyebrow as he allowed his hands to wander. He reached out and touched the silky waves that fell to Bucky's shoulders. "Hm?"

"So... Was it worth it?" Bucky expanded, face fond as Steve played with his hair. His expression stayed unnaturally still, which Steve knew meant he was hiding an underlying anxious thought. He wanted to kiss away the worry past the facade. "Are you happy?"

Without a second thought, without needing to consider or weigh up regrets and _'what if's_ , Steve replied sincerely, "I'd do it all again if it brought me back here to you." 

Bucky's expression eased, reassured to hear that which he already knew.

"Sap," he teased and Steve admired the playful glint in his eyes and the rosiness shining through the tan of his cheeks. He was almost too busy staring to respond, so caught up with how unbelievably lucky he had gotten.

He gathered Bucky close and let his lips be a whisper of a touch against Bucky's as lowered his voice to reply, "Jerk."

Bucky let out a bark of laughter and yanked him closer. Steve followed him happily and savoured the familiar welcome warmth of Bucky's skin as they stumbled into a kiss, into their bed; into the rest of their lives together.

 

 

 


End file.
